Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Post One-Hundred and Fourteen.

Do you ever feel like you've gone backwards?

You've built up an immunity of sorts and you're moving forward in life. Next thing you know, you find yourself back to where you were in the beginning.

I've built walls around myself my whole life. I've allowed them to be chipped away and let people invade my sanctuary. They've left it a mess--rubble as if a post-war scene. Most would want to clear the mess and rebuild. But, you know what? If one were to do that, they'd just have to rebuild the next time. I don't want to spend most of my life rebuilding walls that are going to be torn down. Mine are staying down. That way, things will hurt less if I encourage it.

I'm not rushing to find someone knew to keep me company. The bricks will lay as they fall, so to speak. I'll let that person find me in due time. Who knows? They may just be right under my nose. Life's short, but I'm young. They rest of my life is ahead of me and I can spend my later years chasing cars. For now, I want to focus on family/friends and school... in that order.

I'm not looking for love; I'm looking for a best friend. Most of all... I'm searching for myself.