Post Fourty-One.

Alas, I don't know what's going on anymore. Fighting. Fighting. Fighting. That's all anyone wants to do these days. They're at it again. Friendship really isn't anything, these days. It's all false. We don't stick together for what we have in common. It's not because we like each other. No, it's because we all need someone. We can't be alone.

Forget that. How can I listen to one, then go around and listen to the other, not saying a word. All it is is complaining these days. I just want a normal conversation... like back in middle school.

I'm tired of fighting.
I'm tired of secrets.
I'm tired of backstabbing.

I want friendship.
I want what we all used to have.
I want what was never there to begin with.

We all live to lie. We were taught to when we were younger.

"Don't worry dear, don't tell your father." "Oh, your mother doesn't need to know." "Shhh, don't tell dad. It's our secret." "You and I are besties, not her and me."

Blah. Blah. Blah.
I'm tired of it, honestly.
I don't know what to believe anymore.

Post Fourty.

One month. I'm not even sure if it's felt that long. Wow.

All I can say is that I'm really happy. More than happy. Gawd, it's crazy.

And, I do owe some credit to Jennifer and Jessica. 'Cos, I'm a wuss and all that, yeah. So, thanks double J.

Post Thirty-Nine.

Uggh...Was at the Grand Theatre since 3:30, basically. I got back from play practice at 10. Practice isn't supposed to go past 9. I was supposed to be home by 9. But, o'course... no. That's not how it works out.

So, my dad's a bit pissed. He says I shouldn't be spending so much time on something I'm not getting a high school credit for... that I spent 6 hours there and that that's too long. Basically, that I shouldn't have volunteered to help be a light tech.

Whatever.

Opening night is Thursday. Fuggin' Thursday. Know what? Techs didn't start with the play until Friday. Tonight was the second practice we've attended. That's all the time I've put into it. Now, imagine how much hell he'd raise if I was actually in the play? Gawd. O'course practices are going to run long. We're going through the WHOLE PLAY.

Stressed to the max.

Post Thirty-Eight

Just for kicks... The "Turn on/off quiz"! wth. To be honest, I think this is more a what you like/don't like sorta thing. 'Cos if you get turned on by some of this stuff... wtf. Oh well, I'll even go through and BS the girl one too.

on/off/dc(don't care)

IF A GUY

Wears braces: on
Dresses Gangsta: dc
Dresses Preppy: dc
Dresses Skate: dc
Dresses Athletic:dc
Has green eyes:on
Has brown eyes:on
Has hazel eyes:on
Has blue eyes:dc ha syucka
Smokes cigarettes: off
Smokes weed:off
Smokes cigars: off
Plays sports: dc
Can skate: dc
Writes lyrics:eh...on
Smiles a lot: on
Has blonde hair:dc
Has brown hair:dc
Has black hair:dc
Has red hair:dc
Has spikey hair:dc
Has no hair:off; ;
Has long hair:dc, depends on how long.
Good dancer: dc
Wears jewelry: dc
Piercing: dc
Muscles: dc to an extent
Laid back:on
Plays guitar:on
Plays drums: on
Raps:tha's chill
Can draw:on
Has a lip ring:dc
Has a tongue ring:off
Nipples pierced: off... those could get ripped off, and then what?
Hugs you: on
Hugs from behind: ...on?
Creative: on
Calls you just to hear your voice: dc
Tattoos: dc
Goes to church:dc
Is funny: on
Cuddles a lot: on

_____________________________________________________


IF A GIRL

Has a nice butt: fo' sho'

Plays musical instrument: Tha gurl be off the charts

Is taller than you: Homie don't play

Is shorter than you: Tha's whus up
Has green eyes: Reminds me of kool-aid

Has blue eyes: Ocean ain't as beautiful, bby

Has brown eyes: My chocolate bby kitten

Has hazel eyes: Honey, bby bear

Has long hair: Tha's whus up

Has medium hair: Bby can work it

Has short hair: Needs something to hold on to, bby

Drinks alcohol: Tha' way I can get her upstairs

Smokes cig's: Homie don't want yellow teeth.

Smokes weed: Bby gonna share?
Has blonde hair: Needs me a snow bunny.

Has brown hair: Is chill

Has black hair: Will you be my Egyptian princess?

Has red hair: Fiery

Calls you just to say hi: Bby, I need some space

Creative: In the bedroom

compliments you: She betta

Shaves her legs: Homie don't want no ewok

Wears jewelry: My bby betta have some ice

Has bigger feet then you: Homie don't need no Bigfoot

Belly piercings: Tha' whus up

Doesn't party: Hell naw

Likes to party: She best

Wants to party: She best

Laughs a lot: Best not have one of them crazy laughs

Happy: I don't need a mental case

Funny: Best she not talk

Skinny: Best be a toothpick

Rides a bike: She can ride my bike
Tattoo: Lower back, bby

Honest: Bby betta not be creepin'

Open: Tha's was up

Shy and quiet: Best not be shy

huge boobs: Tha's whus up

Licks lips: Sexeh
Lightly bites Bottom lip: Homie like

Talks dirty: Tha's whas up

Leaves you random comments: Hell naw

Competes with you: Hell naw


That was my gangsta alter ego. His name is Cletus. But, he goes by C-dawg.
wth. Disregard that whole thing.

Post Thirty-Seven.

What is there that I can really say to make things right? Moreover, why does it always seem that we fight over the silliest of things. By George, you two... untuck your dicks from your waistbands and be the better person here. Honestly, I love you two to death, but I don't understand why you lot can't agree on such a little thing. A bit trivial, if you ask me. It's freaking trick-or-treating, for Pete's sake. Okay, so... trick-or-treating is amazing. But, this is besides the point. We shouldn't be arguing over who gets to go with us. You lot work it out and get back to me when you can agree.

In other news, I'm really digging the new Rise Against CD. Thank youuu, Chad, for sending it to me. Haha... no such thing as bad Rise Against. Maybe it's just me, but... Tim McIlrath's voice is freaking awesome.

Except for you and me, love
Everyone is the same,
We know, we know, we know, we know
But if to live, we have to be numb
I'd rather know the pain,
I'd rather know, I'd rather know
This happens almost never
But it happened once to me
And this will never be same
The ends we seam together

I'm not after fame and fortune
I'm after you
When I've served my time I swear I
will come back for you

As their castles crumble slowly
We watch them fall
The crown slips from heads unworthy
Right on to ours, but I'm after you

Post Thirty-Six.

What to say... what to say?

Well, the quarter ended Friday. Jeeze, half of half of the school year is already over. It's gone by way too fast... I'm starting to feel old. Quite very old, to be honest. Junior. A fuggin' Junior. What the hell? It feels like Freshman year was only a few days ago. Where has time gone?

I think I need to start going to bed at 10 again, just so I'm not as sleepy. Don't get me wrong, I get up for school just fine. It just might benefit me getting 8 hours of sleep. To hell with it. We all know that's not going to happen. Sleep is overrated any who!

This weekend was fun. Us lot (Double J, K, and A) watched a movie and played DDR/Sing Star on Friday. Then, Saturday we went to M@TM. So, the usual awesome stuff all us awesome people do. But, let me tell you something you probably already know. Most, if not all, Asians are tone deaf. My dad is. My aunts are. My grandparents are. It runs in the family. So, o'course, I am. But, I'm not the typical Asian, I'd say. 'Cos, I don't very much like kareoke. Why? 'Cos I don't wanna torture others. xD But, Korie finally cracked me and I sang with her. Awfully, but I still managed to do it. Kudos a mi. Overall, I enjoyed myself very much.

Friday is Halloween. Who's ready? I sure as hell know I am. I'mma be one of those people that are fuggin' dressing up and going trick-or-treating until I'm in the grave. 'Cos I'm ace like that. Don't be jealous. I know you want this. Kidding, kidding. I still have to put together my costume still... it's between:

• The Mad Hatter
• A Scene Kid
• My old White Mage Costume
• Some black velvety dress robe thingy I have
• A Hogwarts student

Oh, the choices.

Post Thirty-Five.

Jeeze. So much has been going on lately...

I hate having loads of things to do. It's soooooooooo bleh; awful. But, hey... whatever. I'll live, eh?
Life is pretty good right now. =]

Relatives over is defo not ace. They keep doing that relative thing where they pick at all the stuff you don't do... all your mess ups. wth.

Relatives are supposed to LOVE YOU.
Jeeze... so lame.

Post Thirty-Four.

I don't even know what to do with myself anymore.


Everyone is leaving me behind.

Post Thirty-Three.

One day, I'm going to end up crazy. I already know I'll most likely have memory loss. And that's if I don't die from a heart attack or something.

Oh, joy. I can't wait. I'mma be an amazing old person. My great-grand children will always wanna chill with me. Cuz we be str8t up G, son. Remind me to never do that again.

It seems I'm always staying up a bit late. Honestly, I've always been like this. I have the worst trouble getting to sleep. Ever since I was real little... Oh, well. No one needs sleep anywho.

I remember ages ago when I wanted to be all sorts of things when I grew up. I think the pink power ranger and a Spice girl top the list.

I'm rambling. Going of on a tangent, if I do say so myself. Don't blame me, I blame my mind. It's on on it's own little track.

Bleh. There are many things I could say, but they most likely won't make sense. I missed out again. What is this? The third night. Oh well. Whatever, I either do or don't. I can't even think these days. Must be the tap water.

I'll do it tomorrow, if I feel in the mood. If not, forget it. Ugggh. Being a girl sucks.

Before I forget, Jessica got one of those EasyCurves things. And I used it just for fun... oh jeeze, it was hilarious. They really do move.